I’ve spent a lot of time thinking this weekend.
About my family. About our life here in Alaska. About my business. But mostly about my blog and my writing and what I want to do with it. Where I want to take it.
When I first started this blog back in August of 2008, I was a newly wed awaiting the arrival of our son living 400 miles away from everyone that I knew and adjusting to life as a military spouse. Blogging became a form of therapy that I never anticipated sticking with. It was a bare all place for me to share my struggles and emotions during some of the really hard days; it became a baby book for me to keep track of all of the things that Noah was doing; and it was a way to connect with people-other moms like me-when making friends was hard.
But, it’s been almost FOUR years and nearly 900 posts since I started this journey and I’m reaching a point where I don’t know what to do with it anymore.
Baby #2 will be here in November and I know that I want to spend as much time documenting his or her life in this small virtual space as I did (and continue to do) with Noah. But, as far as everything else? As far as the memes and the linkups and the challenges and sponsorships?
I think I’m ready to hang all of that up and let it go.
I’m never going to be a Babble Top 100 Blogger. I’m most likely never going to be discovered for my wit and way with words in this space. Mommy bloggers (unless you’re Jill Smokler) typically don’t “make it” in the writing world for very long. I know a ton of big name bloggers who are known through Social Sites like Twitter and Facebook and for their writing on places like Babble.
But, I don’t think that’s ever going to be me.
Not because I don’t have people interested in what I’ve got going on, because I do. Those of you who read and comment faithfully light up my days. I appreciate and get excited over every single comment.
Not because I think we live a boring life, because we don’t. We live in Alaska on the Military’s dime. I own a business that grew from this blog (for which I am more thankful than I could ever put into words) and I’m about to have another baby…when most days I can’t find the time to shower and put a decent meal on the table for the one that I already have).
I’m not a scary mommy or a chaotic parent or an attached parent looking to raise awareness for a cause. I’m just a mom trying to make it on my own two feet with my husband by my side and a few kids along the way. I’m a mom doing something she loves until she reaches the point of being able to really do what she dreams of doing.
I’m not a woman who likes to complain about her marriage or her husband, because frankly, I’m pretty in love with the man that I chose and our marriage works. We drive each other nuts some times, but we’re faithful to each other and both agree that life would be miserable if we didn’t have the other alongside of us.
I believe in censorship and don’t blog openly about everything that goes on in my life or with our families…otherwise we might not have anyone speaking to us. Some things, in my opinion, need to be kept private. Which is why my posts don’t stir controversy or receive hundreds of retweets a day on Twitter or dozens upon dozens of shares on Facebook.
Because I’m just me. Just plucking along at the day to day with the intention of looking back on this life when I’m 85 years old and being able to say, “Yeah. It was a hell of a ride.”
That being said.
I’m still not sure where this leaves me as far as my blog goes. Rest assure that there will still be plenty of Noah and the new baby when s/he arrives. There will still be posts about stuff that I’m interested in (like my design business and the work that I do).
But, as far as my own personal attempts at reaching blogging stardom?
I think it’s time to finally drive the last nail in that coffin and realize once and for all that not only is that probably not going to happen for me, these days, I don’t even think I want it to.