I’ve already mentioned before that I am a huge fan of Sex and the City. Yes, the language isn’t the most appropriate, and let’s not even get started on the unending promiscuity and fornication. Those aspects aren’t the most appealing in the world. But I’ve always adored Carrie Bradshaw. In so, so many ways she in the epitome and idea of who I once dreamed of becoming [minus her never ending struggle in the relationship department]. Living life in New York City-the place I still one day hope to be able to call “home” (even if only for a while) and making a living doing what she loves…writing. Something I continue to dream of doing to this day.
As we grow up, we change. We change our look, we change our personalities, we change our minds. I distinctly remember wanting to be about 25 different things when I was ‘young.’ [I use that word loosely here to keep those of you who know my real age from attacking me for putting myself in the same sentence with the word…and if you don’t know my real age, you can find out here.] At one point I wanted to be an Art teacher…knowing in my heart that I couldn’t draw or paint to save my life. Later I wanted to be a novelist…RL Stine and his Goosebumps books were a huge hit when I was a kid and I wanted to write lots and lots of books like him. Then, I wanted to be a Pop Music Diva, like pre-bald Brittney and pre-Lady Marmalade Christina. When I started watching ER way back when George Clooney was still playing Dr. Doug Ross, I thought I may want to go to Medical School. Pursuing a career as a Crime Scene Investigator topped my list during the early days of CSI and CSI:Miami. Later, when I discovered the work of Nicholas Sparks, Jane Austen, and when I read Gone with the Wind for the first time, I went back to the dreams of writing. And at some point, thanks to the movie October Sky and the persistence of my 8th grade Science teacher, I wanted to be an Aerospace Engineer.
What’s funny is that when I got to college, I didn’t pursue any of these “dreams.” I enrolled at the University as a Criminal Justice/Political Science major…I had hopes of either heading down the CSI path or possibly even getting a law degree. That major held up for about a half of a semester before I changed my mind and decided that I wanted to be a journalist. But, after working with the University Newspaper and taking a few classes, I realized that I really didn’t like the idea of writing for a newspaper or having someone tell me what I had to write about. Then, I was an education major. Then, in mid-2007 when I met my husband, I had just gotten accepted to Nursing School. So, I have made some pretty big leaps through the years. I have changed my ‘career’ path, more than I’ve changed my clothes. Granted, my style in fashion is a wee bit more conservative from my college days.
I went from this, to that:
In a matter of about 4 years or so. But that’s not really the point, I don’t guess. To show you that I’ve learned to wear more than just a few shreds of fabric and call it clothing. Ahem.
Now that I am older, however, I’m starting to really wonder what I’m going to do with my life. It’s a constant state of pondering for me. I go back and forth non-stop. I always feel so torn between what I want to spend the rest of my time on this Earth doing. Those of you who read my blog often know how much I love being a mother. Being a wife and stay-at-home mom has by far been the biggest blessing in my life. But, now that Little Man is getting older-slowly but surely-and we are beginning to talk about putting him in preschool for the social and educational benefits. Which will leave me with the chance to return to school to finish up the
100 different degree s I started.
And as I mull over paperwork and online college applications, I find myself thinking, What do I want to be when I grow up? And I always come back to the very same answer…quite simply, I just want to write. I don’t know what, I don’t know for whom, but I want to spend my days putting words on paper…err computer. And I want to take pictures. My passion for photography has only grown stronger over the past few months, and I am certain that when I land in Alaska surrounded by what I hear to be the most beautiful scenery in the country, I know that that passion will expand even farther. So that leaves me where? To be honest, I’m still not quite sure. I know that God has something planned for me, and that there is a reason that after all of these years, after every other path I’ve tried to pursue in life, I always come back to the writing. Always back to the words; to the pen and paper.
So what about you? What do you want to be when you grow up? All limitations aside…if you could pursue any career, what would it be?
Here’s to a GREAT weekend!