Well, we made it home. In one piece. Safe and sound.
It’s always such a bittersweet emotion coming home from, well, home. It’s always hard to leave behind the place I grew up. The place that, no matter where we ever move, will hold something special in my heart. I’m a southern girl through and through. No matter where I end up in the future.
We actually timed our trip home perfectly. Nothing defines our hometown like the smell and sight of Peanut’s and Peanut Dust being stirred up; or following a bright green John Deere down a main road. The sight of the cotton scattered across the fields. It’s really beautiful. No big tall buildings. No interstates. Just land. Trees, dirt roads, beautiful houses…
We had a good time. We got to enjoy home in it’s greatest essence. We went out to the fair 3 times, which was a blast. We never did ride anything, but it’s just enjoyable to be there. Noah had a blast. He loved the lights and the rides. [And of course, the boiled peanuts we willingly fed him.] Josh and I got to go out to the Eric Church concert and just be us again. I felt like I was able to fully relax and be my old self again while we were there that night. I didn’t have any parental responsibilities, we didn’t have anything to worry about. For once, in a long time, we were able to just be us. I felt like I did the same night, almost exactly 2 years to the date, that we went to the same fair for our first date. Only this time, it was about 15 degrees warmer.
We got to visit a lot of people that we hadn’t seen in a while. People that we hadn’t been able to make time for since before Noah was born. And there were people we didn’t see…people we didn’t visit as much for one reason or another. [Long, long story…maybe to come. Eventually.]
I grew up when I went home this time. Does that make sense? I feel like part of me changed while I was there, part of me died while I was there, and I came back to Florida with my husband and my son a different person. Not that it’s a bad thing. It’s good. It’s really good. I feel energized. I feel goal-oriented. I feel like I know what I want for a change. I feel rested. I think that the “break” from everything at home helped me to clear my head and get some things off my chest and my heart. In a good way.
I feel like I have a better grip on the balance between marriage and parenting. I feel like I know WHAT I need to do-both in the day to day and in the long run. I know a lot of this isn’t making sense right now to all of you, but I promise I have intentions of explaining all of it to you soon enough. I feel like God has shown me some things that are more important than other things I was putting first. And most importantly, I feel like God has helped me to let go of some things in my past that I have been holding onto. Things that were hurting me. Things that I can’t change, but feel like I am finally starting to get under my control.
It was a good trip. A refreshing trip. But now it’s over. And I couldn’t be more excited to be back at home. In my house, with my son and with MY husband. My life. MY life.