It’s no secret that the most common question asked to soon-to-be mom’s is: Are you guys hoping for a girl or a boy? Since we already have a little boy, I typically get asked if we’re hoping it’s a girl. Or either people assume that we would only want a girl.
I’ll be honest…
I won’t be disappointed at all if this baby is a girl. We have a son already, whom I love more than anything in the world. But, I’ve done the boy stuff and will continue to do the boy thing for as long as I’m a mother. Football and Baseball and Transformers and dirt…it’s par for the course when it comes to being a boy mom. And I love it.
But, the idea of doing something other than the aforementioned little boy detail, pulls at my heart strings. Having a daughter to go buy dresses for, do mani/pedi days with, play Barbie’s with…all of those are things that I’ve I looked forward to since I was little. I only had a few boy cousin’s growing up, so I was around girls more. I had a baby sister (whom I treated like a baby doll most of the time) and we had the best time playing house and school and mommy together.
I’ve always had this vision of having a daughter. Always just assumed that I would. So, there is a part of me that hopes that we’ll be buying pink this time instead of blue.
Two nights ago, Noah dozed off on the couch while we were downstairs watching a movie. It was too late for a nap, but slightly early for it to be his bedtime. I knew that waking him up to move him would result in a nasty little tantrum. But, I couldn’t leave him downstairs all night. So, the husband picked up the little guy and took him to his bed. It didn’t five minutes before the freak out started.
He moseyed from his bedroom to ours and crawled up beside me. He didn’t want his daddy. All he wanted was to be right there beside me; nestled up on my shoulder. It only took a few minutes before he drifted back off to sleep. I laid there for a while and just watched him sleep. Watched his little hand curl around my fingers, to make sure that I didn’t go anywhere. It was in that small moment that my heart realized that I would be 110% okay with another little boy (not that I really doubted that to begin with).
There is something special about the relationship between a mother and her son. A connection that I never even imagined was possible. He holds a part of my heart that I didn’t even know existed.
All of that to say…
When we find out in a couple of weeks whether this baby is a boy or a girl, I might feel a twinge of disappointment one way or another.
If it’s a girl, there will be that feeling of knowing that I won’t get another chance at that mother/son bonding that I have with Noah or adding another guy to this brood…
If it’s a boy, there will be that knowledge that I’ll probably never have the experience of bonding with a little girl…of being the “mother of the bride” or helping out with cheerleading.
Either way, gender reveal day won’t get here soon enough.