Some days I want to slam the door and scream at the top of my lungs for everyone to leave me alone. Some days, particular people in my life make me so frustrated and so annoyed that I’m almost 100% certain that I could hit said people. Some days, I want to scream for everyone to just leave me alone. Some days I want to tell the girl in the check-out line in front of me to STOP complaining about her husband leaving a plate in the sink…at least he’s around to leave it. Some days when I say that to myself, I want to smack myself in the forehead because a year ago I was the same girl…complaining over stupid and insignificant stuff. Some days I want to put my screaming child in his bed and just let him sit there because I just simply can’t take the yelling anymore. And those same days, I usually end up wanting to kick myself for that thought…because I know how blessed I am to have a healthy child and loves his mommy.
Some days I want to sit down and just write a blog calling out all of the arrogant people that are in our lives and telling them that they can go jump off of a building or something. And those days, I again feel guilty because I know that that’s not exactly the right thing to do or to say. Some days I want to get down on my knees and kick and scream and tell God that things are going like I want them to. That things aren’t “fair” and that I just don’t like it. Those days, God quietly taps me on the shoulder and reminds me of all the times in my life where I’ve thought that and his will has prevailed in the end…always with better results than what I anticipated.
Some days I want to hole up and cry…just because I feel like I can. Others, I just want to scream. Some days I feel like I could cuss like a sailor and it not even phase me. Some days, I worry that I my temper and my stress level is so high that I could say something or do something that I know I would regret. Some days I want to spend all day doing absolutely nothing. Some days I want to question God on the “why’s and why not’s” of my life. Some days I want to pitch a two year old fit because I’m just tired of dealing with things. Some days I want to yell from the roof tops how much I hate A-School and the fact that my husband is gone. Some days I feel like a complete idiot for being so childish…whining because my husband is safe in California when there are other wives out there who’s husbands are in danger zones, being shot at and they don’t talk to them every day. Some days I want to yell with excitement at the unbelievable things God is doing in my life and our families lives. Some days I’m amazed that I feel, think and experience so many emotions in one 24 hour period.
Today [yesterday as this is posting on Wednesday and I’m writing this on Tuesday] was one of those days.