That Post I’ve Been Promising…

A little over a week ago I put out a plea on Facebook. A plea for prayer.

Many of you who follow me on my personal Facebook page know that for the last eight months or so I’ve been battling long term bouts of vertigo and extreme dizziness and nausea. Dizziness to a point of making several trips to my doctor that eventually led her to put in orders for me to have an MRI.

I had my MRI and the results came back with some not so wonderful news…news that could turn our entire lives upside down.

Now, before anyone jumps to assumptions, let me say that as of right now they have no reason to think that I have brain cancer or any kind of brain tumor. They didn’t find that on my scan. My optic nerve and various other areas of my brain look completely normal.

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They did, however, find many large patches of white matter lesions, the largest being located deeper within the matter of my brain and in an area that is directly responsible for causing dizziness (which explains the unexplained spells that I’ve been battling since we  came home from our vacation this summer).

These lesions are leading all of the doctors who have read my scans to believe that I have early onset multiple sclerosis. We are leaving Wednesday morning to go to Anchorage to see the neurologist to verify that this is what it is, so as of now nothing is set in stone or confirmed…we’re still keeping our fingers crossed that I am completely fine and have no issues.

For those of you reading this who have or know someone who has MS, you know what a life altering condition it can be. Right now, the only symptoms I’m showing are the white matter lesions and the dizziness that comes unexpectedly and at random times. Tests have already ruled out the possibility of Lyme Disease and medicines have already ruled out the likelihood that I am experiencing headache. The duration of my dizzy spells have ruled out BPPV (Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo).

And even though I have every reason in the world to get upset or freak out or ask God “WHY ME?!”…I am completely and totally at peace. I have felt a wave of “I don’t need to understand this…” and “God has his hand on me…he’s the one who is in control…” wash over me.

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Because I know that no matter what happens, I’m resting in HIS hands. I have too many dreams, too many ambitions, too many goals to let something like this get me down…especially when it’s something that I don’t have any control over anyway.

And I have a family who needs me. A family who needs me to be at my best, even if I can’t necessarily always be at my best physically. They need me to be happy and to enjoy the life that I’ve been given. And I will. I want to enjoy the life with them that God has blessed me with. So I’m choosing NOT to stress…not to worry too much…just to BE present.

Because I’m in his hands and he promises a plan and a purpose…

So I’m trusting that.

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  1. says

    Hello. I do know the uncertainty of what you are dealing with. I was diagnosed with MS 22 years ago while in high school. Dizziness was my worst symptom most of the time. I went on to put myself through college, served on the mission field, got married and just before having three kids, it went into remission.

    It is scary, but know, if MS turns out to be the answer, there are so many treatments, so many options.

    Hugs and prayers.
    Charity recently posted..Protected: If I Could Pour it All OutMy Profile

  2. says

    Sweet Courtney, I am praying for you. I am so glad you are focused on staying present with God and family. Rich’s father is coping with MS, so we have some idea what you are fighting. Let us know what we can do, and I’m not just saying that.
    Blessings, Voni

  3. Lindsay Harris McClure says

    Courtney,
    Thank you for sharing. Please know we will be praying for you and trusting that God is on control! Your Faith is amazing and such a great example of how we should all remember to lean on HIM through all circumstances. Praying for His healing hands on you!

  4. says

    Oh my friend, what life altering news.
    After the boys were born this was a concern of mine too, since I was dizzy and numb constantly, on various places of my body (those symptoms continue today).

    My prayer is that whatever the news is , that you are cared for, diagnosed properly and treated with all the wonderful medicine and therapy there is available these days for MS.

    I am thinking of and praying for you Courtney.
    Kir recently posted..TMT: I’ll Write You a Story, You Sing Me a Love SongMy Profile

    • Maribeth Bedsole says

      Courtney, I have a very dear friend who has had MS for decades, so have always researched and looked for info about it. It used to be tricky to diagnose because there are many neurological “hiccups” that have similar characteristics. Try to make it to a research hospital like Mayo or another facility with outstanding neurology department to be sure what you’re dealing with. Meanwhile, the good news is that there are many new therapies and meds available, including some exercise science, I think. Just gather all the info you cqn, and know I and many others are thinking of you and sending positive vibes and prayers your way.

  5. Gayna Walker says

    Just wanted to say…….God is so amazing and he completely shines through you. What wonderful courage you are showing for your family. I know they are so proud of you Courtney. You keep that head of yours held high and keep your faith lifted on high and you will be blessed. Prayers lifted on high for you and your sweet family. GOD IS GOOD…..ALL THE TIME!!!!!! supporting you from Abbeville Al……♥♡♥♡♥♥♡♥♡♥♡

  6. says

    {Melinda} Courtney, I am so sorry for this news. I will praying for you and your sweet little family. For God’s peace and healing. I do understand to some degree … I have been battling chronic autoimmune issues for 17 years, ones that significantly impact my quality of life. My son (14) also has cystic fibrosis. But I can tell you that God has always provided. It hasn’t always been very easy, but He’s given us what we’ve needed to get through each hurdle. I know He’ll do the same for you. <3
    Mothering from Scratch recently posted..Searching for Sanity: a new book for moms!My Profile

  7. says

    Hi Courtney! I was thinking of you and thought I’d pop over, and just read your post. May you (and your family) continue to find yourself in a state of grace and ease. Travel safe!

    hugs,
    Darien

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