Well, hello! Contrary to popular belief I am still alive and kicking. (Actually, the baby is doing most of the kicking these days, but you know what I mean.) I’ve had a hard time getting going again since we returned from our two week mini-vacay in Anchorage. I never thought that just hopping on a plane, going 250 miles to the mainland and shacking up in a temporary military lodging unit for 12 days would be considered a “vacation.” But the trips to Target & Olive Garden made it so.
But, now that we’re back on our little island, finding the desire to get up and get going every day is taking everything I have. I remember being sleepy when I was pregnant with Noah, but this whole my-entire-body-is-exhausted-and-I-don’t-want-to-move think I’ve got going on right now? It’s kind of kicking my butt. I don’t remember ever having so little drive and motivation. Someone told me it was because I’m older now than I was last time I was pregnant and that each pregnancy ages you 10 years. So technically, my body would have already been 34 when I got knocked up this time.
Then, I’ve heard that it’s because I’m already taking care of one baby this time, so my energy level is naturally lower than it would be otherwise. Whatever it is, it needs to go. Because this is getting old quick.
Throw in the fact that the husband is gone on a short deployment for the next week and a half leaving me to take care of Little Man by my lonesome and you can imagine what I’m feeling right now. Fortunately, having bought a new MacBook while we were in Anchorage alleviated some of my need in sitting at a computer chair for long hours during the day and I can now work from the comfort of our cozy recliner. Or my bed.
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I haven’t picked my camera up but once since we got back into town. Most of my photos have been taken on my iPhone (hence the reason I have been blowing up the Instagram stream here lately). I miss my little Canon baby so I did shoot a few shots of Noah today. There wasn’t much to shoot since mostly we’ve been lounging in our PJ’s, watching movies and trying to ignore the 40 degree rainy weather that continues to consume this dreary little island.
We did hear the baby’s heartbeat at my last appointment on the 22nd! It was 148 and strong. The doctor couldn’t really offer a guess as to whether it was a boy or a girl, but we still have a feeling we already know. Though, I’ve had dreams that it was a boy and a girl, so maybe someone’s trying to send a clue that we really won’t know until he or she arrives in November.
It feels weird to say, but this pregnancy still doesn’t quite seem real yet. Despite the nausea, the exhaustion, and the tiny little kicks that I feel right now, it hasn’t quite set in. I’m hoping that once the harder, more noticeable kicks start and once we know whether baby is a boy or a girl that the realization comes. Because baby is coming whether I’m ready or not.
I think the year long ups and downs we experienced when trying to get pregnant is to blame for this surreal “are we sure it’s actually happening this time?” mentality that I find myself struggling with. Again, I’m sure it will change as time passes. I just know that we are excited and blessed and eager to have this little baby with us…whether it’s a he or a she.