Realize

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Don't you guys love those moments in life where you get all philosophical and life just starts throwing these deep thoughts your way? Maybe it's the island fever lifting, but that's how I've felt the last several days. Having time to sit in silence while Noah naps and Josh is in class have led me to some great conclusions and certain realizations. I've realized that my baby is, isn't so much a baby anymore. I'm sure most of you probably already knew that. But it took a trip to Target through the "Big Boy" clothes section to realize that he's growing up. And that he can wear a size 4/XS in shirts. Which means that I don't have to buy the 4T/5T shirts anymore. He's in just regular clothes … [Read more...]

How Much a Heart Can Hold

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I'm already amazed at how much I've grown to love this tiny little baby growing inside me. I know that she (or he...I'm just using the general she terminology) is no bigger than an olive right now and wouldn't even fit fully in the palm of my hand, but knowing that this little person is going to be (and already is) a part of our family fills my heart with a love that I didn't even know I had in me. I knew when I was pregnant with Noah that my heart could handle how much love I had for him early on. There was a space inside me that I had been waiting to become a mommy for a long, long time. I'd dreamed of having my own child and preparing for his arrival was the highlight of my life (next … [Read more...]

When Other Things Matter

sicknoah

I had an entirely different post prepared for today. Had a post about how full of love and excitement my heart has been these last few weeks. And then we had a situation arise here on Kodiak that changed our day a little bit. I'm sure some of you saw the news. That there were two US Coast Guardsmen who were shot and killed here on Kodiak Island. The first murder in 11 years. Two men with families. With wives. With children. Two families whose entire lives were shattered in a matter of minutes. They put the base on lockdown because no one knows who did it or what happened. Instead of working today, I sat snuggled up on the couch with my little guy. We watched … [Read more...]

Life Just Works

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These last two weeks have been a bit of whirlwind around our house. The husband made rank and found out he was advancing in May or June; which is such a blessing. He works so hard and loves what he does so much. It makes me happy to see him succeed doing something he loves. We are so, so proud of him. Then we got some news about our time in Kodiak that may or may not benefit us. So many things with that are up in the air, so I won't even bother discussing them right now. But, knowing that changes are possible makes my head spin a bit. We were at the park with Little Man the other day, enjoying the 42 degree temperatures (hey, that's a heat wave here in Kodiak) and the sunshine. Noah … [Read more...]

Something Special

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Ever since the husband and I started trying for baby number two, I've asked myself what the bond between myself and a second child might be like. I know that I could (and would) love another child. There is no doubt in my mind about that. Boy or girl, whichever child comes into our family next will be as loved as our son is. But, as a boy mama... I have to say that this love I have for my first born is something to be reckoned with. It used to slightly annoy me to see moms going on and on and on about how much they love their kids. I mean, we all assume that they love them, take care of them, look out for them, etc. That's a given right? But, I didn't fully understand just how … [Read more...]

Sacrifices

52 Faces-Week 12

I feel like everything on my blog lately is the same: confessions about my lack of time to do much of anything... expressions of how utterly exhausted I am most days... excitement for all of the things that I want to do... and happiness over the design waiting list that continues to grow. Let me emphasize heavily how blessed I feel to be doing what I enjoy doing and contributing to our family. We're planning a big vacation in the fall and I am beyond grateful that, for the first time in three years, I am able to help out my husband. For the first time since we got married the financial burden isn't all on him. We're now a two income family and I can see huge differences in … [Read more...]

Building

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I have a million things that I could talk about today. I could talk about the tears I shed when someone I consider to be a dear friend, though we've never met in person, messaged me on Twitter to let me know that she was expecting. She wanted to tell me, personally, before announcing it because of the struggle that we've had getting pregnant again. I cried not necessarily because I was upset that she was pregnant and I'm not, but because that simple gesture showed me that she cared and that she was thinking of me. And I'm an, without a doubt, over the moon excited for her and her family. I could talk about the news that we're possibly taking a mini-vacation in May. Just a short plane … [Read more...]

In Waves

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I wish I had words for you today friends. But truthfully, I'm doing my very best to keep my eyes open long enough to get this post up. Business is good, to say the least. And I'm exhausted trying to keep up with all of it. I feel humbled. Blessed beyond belief to be doing what I love and loving what I do. I just need to find time to throw in a nap every once in a while. Exhaustion just comes in waves these days and right now, I feel like I'm riding it to the death. Holding on long enough to share this sweet little boy with you... I did manage to snap 150 or so photos this week. Here's the ones I set aside for this weeks 52 Faces! Can you believe we're in week 10 … [Read more...]

Black & White

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You see the world in black and white. Good and bad. Hot and Cold. Bed time and Play time. Mommy and Daddy. There's no complications. No middle ground. It's either or. I admire your innocence. Your sense of certainty about the life you live. There's no confusion. No doubt. No hesitation. Just simplicity. A little boy with everything in the world he could possibly need. You haven't experienced heartache yet (except for that time we had to wash Puppy and you thought she was gone forever). You haven't lost someone you love or had someone you care about betray you. You haven't struggled or cried over a decision and worried that it would ruin your life or … [Read more...]

Why I Do What I Do

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I never questioned what I would do with my life when I had kids. It was always just a given that I would become a stay-at-home-mom. My mom was always around growing up. She went to class parties, did the PTA thing, softball games, you name it. She was always a presence in my life and in my sisters life. I knew that when I had kids of my own that I wanted to be the same way. I wanted to be a part of everything. Bake cookies and brownies for the bake sale. Haul kids back and forth to soccer/football/whatever practice. Be at dance recitals. Sell Girl Scout Cookies. All of those things were on my little black agenda book for parenting, and I never had intention of doing it differently. … [Read more...]