Big Kid Problems

I’ve started to notice that my biggest baby, really isn’t a baby anymore.

He doesn’t look like a baby. He doesn’t talk like a baby. He doesn’t play like a baby.

We’ve bypassed and moved beyond the terms of “toddler” and “preschooler.” Noah’s just a kid. A full-fledged little boy with barrels of energy and unending excitement about everything about him.

He’s jump off of furniture, run through the house, knock down blocks and shoot Nerf darts through the house. He’s broken picture frames from a misfired football/baseball/basketball. He’s the unending plea to “Slow down!” when he’s sprinting down the hallway.

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It’s been a bit of a drastic realization for me.

I never realizes how big he was until Jonah was born. I didn’t really realize how much he’d grown up until I watched Jonah learning to crawl, learning to pick up small pieces of food with his fingers, attempting to stand.

Our babies grow up so fast. Much faster than we ever expect them to.

And with growing up, comes “growing up” problems.

Like different kinds of discipline issues. The back talking, the bad attitudes, the pushing limits and trying to press the boundaries.

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And the issues with other kids that start to arise. Kids who don’t wan to play with my kid. Kids who are rude or ugly to my son. Kids who say things that aren’t nice. Who leave him out of games and activities. Kids who tell him they don’t like him for no reason whatsoever.

It’s been a tough few weeks for me when it comes to keeping my inner mama bear in check. A little girl in our neighborhood the other day told Noah she didn’t like him and didn’t want to play with him. That she didn’t want him to play with her stuff because she didn’t like him. She laughed at him because he’s still learning to ride his bike and isn’t without his training wheels yet.

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It’s hard to have to explain to your child why people are like they are. Why people are ugly and say hurtful things. It broke my heart to have to explain to him that some people just aren’t nice.

I had to reassure him that he was a good boy. A sweet boy. A friendly boy who didn’t do anything wrong just because this particular little girl was mean to him.

It took all of my strength to not walk right up to the door of this little girls house and tell her mom that she was being a brat. That her daughter was being rude to my son when he hadn’t done anything to her.

But I didn’t.

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Because as much as it hurt me to see him get his feelings hurt; to have to explain one of the hardest life lessons to him at such a young age, I know that this is one lesson that he will have to learn over and over and over again.

Not everyone is going to like us.
Not everyone is going to be nice to us.
Not everyone is going to be friendly and kind all the time.

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That’s life. That’s the society we live in.

Instead of teaching him that we confront and address every unkind word and unkind person, I’m going to teach him that no matter what anyone says, he’s a good boy. A smart boy. A sweet boy. He’s friendly and funny and has the best smile and laugh of anyone I know. He’s good-hearted and honest and he’s exactly who is supposed to be.

He’s absolutely PERFECT the way that he is.

I think Aibileen said it best in The Help:

YOU IS KIND.
YOU IS SMART.
YOU IS IMPORTANT.

And that’s what matters.

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  1. says

    Oh, Courtney, I hear you loud and clear, and am going through very similar things with Abbey. We’re trying very hard to instill in her that kindness wins over many more people than being rude and forward and stubborn. She thinks the latter is still the best route, though, and it’s so hard to watch her be disobedient or loud and kids shy away from her. So hard.

    But then there’s kids like Noah (whom she adores and misses terribly. I feel like we need to get together soon!) kids like Noah who with sweet spirit and a fun attitude somehow mellow Abbey down to a workable level, and they play and play and play. . .

    You’ve got a real jewel of a son in your “kid” Courtney. Keep on keeping on! :)
    Amy recently posted..Settling InMy Profile

    • says

      Thank you, Amy! I try so hard to make sure he knows that he’s loved for who he is and to teach him that even though people are different, that everyone is just as special as he is. :) Abbey’s a sweet girl. She’s got a fun and exciting fire for life. That’s going to carry her a long way as she gets older.
      Courtney recently posted..Big Kid ProblemsMy Profile

  2. says

    Courtney you are a GREAT mom! I don’t know how to keep that mama bear back just. But I still have a toddler, so when I see something happening to my child I can’t help myself. I’ll stop everything from happening when the older kids are being mean to my son or when other children hit him. I can’t let it happen. I’ve said so many things to other parents. Thankfully they correct the children’s behavior. I know in the future, I won’t be able to do that anymore and will have to let go a little and let him learn. But he is just under two I’m not ready to let the world be so cruel to him yet.

    That certainly was a good lesson that Noah learned. He is a good boy!
    Dina Farmer recently posted..Day 22 of the 30 Day Photo ChallengeMy Profile

  3. says

    it sucks when they grow up :(

    you’re pretty awesome for keeping yourself calm in those situations though. i woulda flipped shit, but that prolly wouldn’t have been a good thing xD but that’s just how i am~
    Jenny recently posted..In my BagMy Profile